About Me

My photo
Most recently, Kees Kapteyn has self published an e-novella 'individe' which can be found on Amazon. He also has a flash fiction chapbook entitled "Temperance Ave.", published by Grey Borders Press. He has also has been published in such magazines as flo., Wordbusker, In My Bed, blue skies, ditch and other literary journals. He lives in Ottawa, Ontario where he works as an educational assistant.

Sunday, December 1, 2019

(from Waawaashkesh Ke)


Death comes mercifully for prey. The fear, the pain is all in the chase, the struggle. Peace comes with surrender. There’s such peace in surrender. I always feel it when my prey ceases to struggle, that wave of peace that comes over them. I feel for that certain moment when the breath stops and the body relaxes, so limp as to be water. At that moment, I envy them. I’ve never in my life been able to sleep that deep, to rest so completely. I don’t want to die, but only wish that I could feel that kind of serenity. I’ve been finding myself wishing that more and more in recent years. There’s a perfect completeness to death that is just so lacking in my life.

So that’s what she did. She exhaled no more and became like water. She wet my face as I ripped her open and bit by bit, she disappeared into my stomach.

I ate until I felt ill and sat down on my haunches,  tired and stupid, smarting from the wounds and contusions she’d inflicted on me, my muscles quivering from exhaustion. Someone could have come along and kicked me over and I would be too stupid to fight, too full to run. That’s when I’m at my weakest, after I’d gotten what I wanted. Such a quick descent isn’t it? To fall from the power to take a life to the impotence of being unable to save one’s own. There was nothing for me to do then but find a safe place to hide and get some sleep.

No comments:

Post a Comment